Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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