sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Randomize
