omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
