Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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