check it out our google latitudes are spooning
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
