so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
