I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
