Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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