Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
