That's when you crack a 10am beer
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
