I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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