Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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