dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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