good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
