i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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