He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
