so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
