Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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