it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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