she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
