It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
