Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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