you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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