Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
