I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
