I like to think it a success when the cops are called
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
