So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize