As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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