I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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