when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
BRING THE BAGELS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
