good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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