Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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