it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
