i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
