JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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