so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
