I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
