First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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