it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Randomize