No, you can still breathe under the balls.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
