i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
