She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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