U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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