You're completely useless in the revolution.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
