Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
