I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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