I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
