I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize