Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Did I show you my penis last night?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
