The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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