im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
