i just wanna soil my oats bro
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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