Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
