Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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