I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
