Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
