Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Randomize
