UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i love accidental penises.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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