I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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