Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
