no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
