nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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