girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
