i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
