Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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