3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
