question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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