Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
